Gratitude is an emotion or feeling that can be shown through actions and behaviors. It involves feeling thankful or acknowledging the good. Research has been done on this topic and it has been found that gratitude can improve quality of life, physical and mental health and wellbeing, and promote success in accomplishing goals. Perhaps it is easy to see why people with great lives, along with lots of money, health, security, and everything else humans tend to value can be grateful. However, many people with more challenging circumstances and fewer comforts and luxuries are able to be grateful. This post will walk you through gratitude practices that can change your life, even if your circumstances are rough.
It may come as a surprise to learn that gratitude is not about recognizing when things are great. Instead, it’s more about finding and appreciating the good when times are harder. I get it. Sometimes things are really, really hard. Those are the times gratitude can be a the biggest struggle. Ironically, that’s when it tends to be needed the most. Gratitude practices provide a way to consciously find gratitude, no matter what. The truth is, there is always something to be thankful for, no matter how bad things get. Gratitude practices provide tools to sort through the realities and thoughts so the good can appear.
We’ll get into specific gratitude practices and how to use them, but first, the background knowledge. It’s important to understand how the brain works. This can help us to see why gratitude doesn’t always come easily. No, there isn’t anything wrong with you or your brain if you default to the negative and struggle to find the positive. That doesn’t mean we can’t make it easier to focus on the positive.
Why the Brain Hides Gratitude
Have you ever thought about the worst-case scenario? For example, an event or something is coming up, and your brain offers you all the things that could possibly go wrong and how that could lead to the destruction of your entire life? Or, have you ever noticed a health symptom and then looked it up? Pretty soon you’re convinced you have something horrific and your life expectancy is shockingly grim. Hey, we’ve all been there a time or two, right? Have you ever wondered why this happens?
No, there is nothing wrong with you or your brain if you go to all the negatives and worst-case scenario. That doesn’t mean you need to stay there. Gratitude practices can help to re-train your brain.
Our brains are human. They were designed to protect us and help keep us alive. This is great news! Hang in there with me – it gets better, I promise. We need to know how our brains work and how to use them so we can make the most of them. If not, they can over-protect us, which can lead to some pretty unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Yes, this agony is supposed to be helpful, according to the human brain. It really can be helpful, as long as we are aware, can understand where it’s coming from, and then manage our thoughts and feelings accordingly.
Gratitude practices are a way of managing those thoughts and feelings. Before we get to that part, it’s important to recognize when those gratitude practices are needed. Not there yet, or feel like they’re needed all the time? That’s completely fine! If you find yourself waking up on the wrong side of the bed every day or like you’re swimming in stress, negativity, or overwhelm, simply plan to do a gratitude practice as soon as you wake up each morning – no matter what. Then watch your entire life change for the best.
Gratitude Practices: Questions and Prompts
Gratitude is all about thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It’s about how we view our situations and the realities of our lives. Consider the example below.
Example: Waking up sick.
We have all been sick, so this one is relatable. It’s not exactly fun. However, it doesn’t have to ruin the day.
Thought Process 1:
Perhaps I wake up sick, feeling awful, and unable to do all the things I had on the schedule for the day. I have to call a friend and let them down because I can’t show up as promised. The food I spent so much time and money making is going to go to waste because I’m too sick to eat it. This is horrible, the worst… or is it?
Thought Process 2:
I’m feeling sick. The things I had scheduled are not life-or-death. Some can wait, and others can be done without me. Sure my friend was disappointed to hear the news, I am so fortunate to have a friend who cares about my wellbeing and misses me when I am home sick. We will get together after I recover. I can put that food in the freezer and eat it a different time. It will be so nice to have it already prepared and ready when I’m extra busy. Now that my schedule is clear for the day, this is the perfect opportunity for me to rest of catch up on some low-intensity chores if I feel up to it.
Can you notice the difference between the two thought processes? It’s probably pretty clear which thought process would lead to a better day. Also, the second one leaves the possibility of making some progress, but without the pressure that it needs to happen. So, how can we train our brains to think more like the second thought process when they default to the first thought process? A few simple prompts or questions can help to make the shift.
Questions and Prompts
This is a simple list of prompts and questions for gratitude practices. They can serve as a starting point. Allow your mind to continue on in a way that serves you. Find what questions and prompts work best for your brain and invent your own as needed!
1. Gratitude List
This one is simply a list of all the good. It can be general good in you life, the good in a situation, things you like, anything! What are you thankful for? Anything that comes to mind can go on this list.
2. What signs can I find that things are going well?
Sometimes it’s easy to find all the signs that things are going wrong. A bank account is overdrawn. That alarm clock buzzes wayyyyy too soon. Something physically hurts. The brain draws attention to these things to protect us so we can do something about them. So, what are some signs that things are going well? What is the brain not drawing attention to because it’s going well and doesn’t require a warning?
3. What parts of this are within my control?
This is a great one to use when there is a big, overwhelming situation. The brain may default to doom and gloom to the point where it seems like everything is out of control. Is that true? Are there any parts that can be controlled or influenced, even if they are seemingly tiny? Sometimes the tiny things make a huge difference.
4. Is there a lesson that can be learned from this?
Another wat to ask this is: What could this be teaching me? Sometimes our tough experiences are preparing us for something great down the road. They transform us into the people we need to be for whatever comes next. Is that possible? The great part about this one is that we don’t even need to know the lesson yet. Instead, we can be grateful for the experience simply by acknowledging that it could strengthen us or prepare us for something yet to come.
5. How can I take what I have and use it to reach my goals?
This one is a more active approach. It’s all about turning threats and weaknesses into opportunities, which become strengths. The brain identifies things we don’t like, challenges, and problems. Great! How can we turn them around? What can we do to improve or build upon them so they shift from bad to good?
6. Positive Words
Positive words is a great game to play if you feel stuck or like you’re struggling to make progress with the other approaches. Simply come up with all the words you think of as being positive. Some examples are happy, sunny, warm, and laughter. Then consider how these words make you feel, or a memory/wish you may have that is somehow connected to each.
How to Be Grateful – Gratitude Practices for Everyone
So there are a bunch of questions and prompts. Now what? What exactly do we do with them? This section is all about applying the questions and prompts.
Gratitude practices look different for everyone. They are customizable. The best practices are not the ones that are scientifically-proven or most recommended by experts. Instead, they are the ones you are able to do regularly, the ones you enjoy, and the ones that work best for you and your life. Read over the suggestions listed below. Try a couple and decide what you like most. Get creative. Adapt them to your life and preferences, or use them as a starting point to invent your own!
1. Journal
Write it down! There’s some kind of magic that comes with pen/pencil on paper. Snag a piece of loose leaf or designate a fresh journal for gratitude – it doesn’t matter. You can take the traditional, effective approach of journaling your responses to gratitude prompts and questions. Going modern and typing it out works, too.
2. Think
Why does it have to be so formal to write it out? It doesn’t! You can just think your responses or answers. This is great when you’re walking out in nature, in the shower, can’t find writing/typing supplies, or don’t want to do that. All you need is your brain and the desire to think about it.
3. Talk
Prefer to chat about it? Call up a trusted friend, family member, or coach. You could even get the words out to a pet, plant, or inanimate object. Sometimes it helps to put a voice to it and talk it out, even if there is no response.
4. Hobby
Do you have a favorite outlet, or would you like to find one? Pour it all out into a song, painting, physical activity, or whatever you do as an outlet. There are many, many creative ways to process thoughts and feelings. Find one you like and go for it!
Summary
Okay, so here’s the most important stuff for all you scrollers out there:
- The human brain was designed to point out the bad stuff to warn you so you so you can prepare and do what needs to be done.
- That doesn’t mean it’s pleasant, and dwelling too much on the bad can have huge, negative consequences on happiness, quality of life, physical and emotional wellbeing, success, relationships, and life in general.
- You don’t have to remain in that default negative world. You can use gratitude practices to retrain your brain to make the most of what you’re given and live the life you want.
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Changing thought patterns can be quite the process, especially when the current ones have been practiced for years. Also, sometimes it’s challenging to see inside our own brains and thoughts because we’re the ones living in there. You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to support you every step of the way.
This blog post is about gratitude (gratitude practices to change your life). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘gratitude’ (but not gratitude practices to change your life) from other sites:
Why Gratitude is Important to God by Lisa Granger
https://lisamarcelina.net/why-gratitude-is-important-to-god/
Living with a Daily Attitude of Gratitude by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/living-with-a-daily-attitude-of-gratitude/
Everyday Gratitude by Jessica Weaver
www.rootedunrooted.com/blog/everyday-gratitude
Gratitude: Our Secret Weapon by Sharla Hallett