Parents today have more emotional awareness than they did in previous generations. They’re healing their own emotional scars, and changing generational patterns. More than ever, parents are wanting to create new realities for their own children. They’re asking questions like: How can parents encourage emotional development? This is such an incredible thing!
So, how can parents encourage emotional development?
Simply asking the question is a huge step in that direction. It shows that the parent has already become aware enough to know that it’s important. Celebrate that win! Then move on to the more practical stuff.
Grab a notebook and pencil! In this article, I’m going to answer the question “How can parents encourage emotional development?” It’s probably not what you think.
Continually work on your own emotional development.
Emotional development learning and growth are never complete. It takes a lifetime to re-learn patterns. There’s always an opportunity for improvement. With endless strategies and ways of implementing them, plus continued research, things are always exciting! Chances are the levels of emotional development that were believed to be the goal at the beginning of the journey are really just the foundation. Keep turning over new stones. Support your children and walk this journey together. There is no greater bonding experience than mutual discovery and growth.
Make sleep a priority.
Any sleep-deprived parent feels the struggle of functioning well on too little sleep. Tensions are high and patience is low. Emotional regulation is a challenge that seems as tough as winning an Olympic gold medal. It’s no different for kids.
When you’re exhausted and mentally drained, how often do you get through the entire day completely regulated? As parents, we need to remember that when responding to the little people. How can we expect them to keep their stuff together all the time if it isn’t a walk in the park for us?
Have compassion and understanding, especially when they’re tired or going through life transitions or challenges. Help them by setting the stage. Make sleep a priority to set everyone up for success.
Model skills in front of children.
Think about what would happen if I tried to teach you how to cook a complicated recipe while adding completely different ingredients. I said to sprinkle a pinch of sugar, but instead dumped a cup of salt. Would you be confused? How much do you add, and of what?
Kids learn what they are taught. Showing them something completely different from what is spoken will lead to confusion and frustration. This discourages emotional development.
Do your best to model the behaviors you want your children to learn. Know that sometimes mistakes are made, both by adults and children, no matter how much effort. It’s okay. When you behave in a way that you don’t want to use as an example, apologize and explain. Tell the kids you made a mistake, and let them know why it was a mistake. Discuss alternatives. Allow them to ask questions, and even make their own suggestions. Grow together.
Walk them through the steps.
When you learn a new emotional regulation skill or think of one you already know, share it. Break it down as simply as possible. Teach them, and do it with them in real-time. For example, if you begin to feel yourself becoming activated, tell them what you’re feeling. Walk them through the steps you take. When you notice them becoming activated, ask if they would like to try an emotional regulation technique. Maybe have two ready so they can choose which one to try. Do it together. When everyone is calm, discuss the experience with an open mind.
Make sure they have at least one strategy that they like to regulate their emotions.
The best strategy for emotional regulation is the one that works for that person. It’s the one they like, the one they want to use when the opportunity arises. It really doesn’t matter how much scientific research supports one or says another is ineffective. If it helps you or your child, do it. On the other hand, if they resist and say they don’t like it even after they have calmed down, it’s probably time to try something new. It’s normal to complain about something when feeling angry or sad, but those feelings of dislike shouldn’t remain when feeling better. If they do, proactively explore new ideas with your child and allow them to come up with their own. Make sure they pass the safety test and then try together!
How can parents encourage emotional development? Keep trying.
Finding emotional regulation strategies that work for your kid, and that your kid likes, can take time and effort. Keep trying. With enough effort, it will come. When it does, it will all be worth it. Plus, the journey of searching is part of the learning experience. It teaches kids (and parents) how to come up with something, no matter how long it takes or how many tries. If they can make it through that process initially they will already have a leg up next time they need to find a new strategy… because there likely will be a next time. While there are some strategies that we can go back to year after year, sometimes it’s helpful to use fresh ones for different kinds of challenges, especially as life changes.
How can parents encourage emotional development?
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This blog post is about encouragement (how parents can encourage emotional development). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘encourage’ (but not about parents encouraging emotional development) from other sites:
4 Ways to Encourage Yourself in the Lord by Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahallett.com/4-ways-to-encourage-yourself-in-the-lord/
Simple Is Better – Never Underestimate the Power of Encouragement by Dianne Vielhuber
Encouragement to Bloom by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/encouragement-to-bloom
When Encouragement Feels Bad by Amy Cobb
https://www.tayloredintent.com/blog/when-encouragement-feels-bad