Let’s talk about how to turn things around and get the life we want. Sometimes life happens and we find ourselves stuck in a rut or just not where we want to be. That’s okay. It’s a natural part of life because things ebb and flow. That also doesn’t mean we have to sit around and wait for things to change. Actually, a lot of times that doesn’t work. We need to act to make things happen. I’m here to walk you through 10 strategies to do just that.
10 Ways to Turn Things Around and Change Your Life
These strategies work best when they are all used together in a step-by-step process. However, you can customize them to fit your unique situation and needs. Feel free to use what works best for you, but if you skip some steps, make sure you like the reason you’re skipping them.
1. Ask yourself why things are the way they are.
Do you know why you aren’t currently where you want to be? What’s the reason you aren’t there yet? I’m not asking you to list a bunch of excuses or throw yourself a pity party.
If that’s what you need right now then go for it – no judgment. Sometimes it helps. Just make sure to decide how much time you will sit there and move on after that time passes.
Depending on where you are, a self-pity party may or may not be part of how to turn things around.
This step isn’t about shaming, blaming, or getting down on yourself. It’s not about resentment, anger, or frustration, though some (or all) of those feelings may be there initially. If they are, you can start by acknowledging them and feeling them.
Then get curious. That’s the real purpose of this step. By asking the question with curiosity like it’s a mystery to solve we can get valuable answers that help with the next steps.
2. Offer yourself compassion.
So, what did you find out when you got curious? What answers did your mind offer for why you are where you are? After you processed any possible feelings that weren’t serving you, what thoughts came to mind?
A BIG part of learning how to turn things around is turning the blame, self-doubt, and any other unproductive thoughts into something that will get you where you want to go.
Self-compassion is a great way to get started. For example, maybe you went through a life transition. That may have taken your focus away from your goals. Of course. That makes perfect sense. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to focus on the things that pop up in life before getting back to (or even changing) our goals. This is where compassion comes in. What kind and reassuring thoughts can you offer yourself?
Now, how can you transition your thoughts from here? The key is to shift to motivation and action. For example, maybe you have found compassion because you set your goals aside to focus on a life challenge. That must have been tough, and you were brave, even if you didn’t always give yourself credit for your bravery. You can use that experience and the lessons learned to fuel your next phase of the journey.
3. Get relaxed, or find an outlet.
We can’t be at the top of our game when we’re stressed. We need clear heads (or clear enough, not perfection) to be our true selves. Finding a way to relax or release tension goes a long way.
Honestly, I don’t know how to turn things around without this step.
This is the step that tends to get the most eye rolls. It’s also one of the most important steps. Plans made and actions taken when stressed or out of desperation are not the same as those taken when feeling more stable.
You may initially feel pulled to skip this step. I encourage you to pause and ask yourself why. What could it hurt, and what do you stand to gain if you trust me on this one and just go for it? Find something relaxing, or something that helps you blow off steam. Make sure it’s safe and legal and then do it.
4. Determine what’s standing in your way.
The answer to this question is not the same as the answer to why you aren’t there yet, but it could be similar. The previous question looks to the past. This one looks to the future.
Think about the kind of life you want. Let your brain go to that place where it tells you all the reasons you can’t do it. Those are warning signs. Your bring is telling you to look out for stuff that may prevent you from accomplishing your goals and making your dreams come true so you can find solutions to those potential challenges.
Very thoughtful of the brain, right? Sometimes it just has an extremely unkind way of presenting those warning signs. That’s okay. Now that you know what’s happening you can react accordingly.
5. Make a plan.
Are you a planner? This one may or may not come naturally. Either way is completely fine.
After you hone in on what you want, think of a few big steps you can take to get there. Then, break those big steps down into smaller, more manageable steps. It may help to write them all out in order. You can even make multiple lists – for big, medium, and small steps.
If you get stuck, ask yourself a few questions to get your thoughts flowing:
- What is one thing you can do today to get one, tiny step closer?
- Who could you talk to about this?
- What are some daily practices that could help?
- Are there any experts or people who have done what you want to do?
6. Schedule the steps of your plan.
Will it happen if it’s not scheduled? Sometimes the answer is yes. However, things like this tend to fall off if we don’t make them a priority and schedule them. It’s usually more about making the time than allowing it to fill the time slots that are left over after scheduling less important things.
This step helps in two ways:
- It provides structure to follow so you don’t have to make as many decisions at the moment.
- It helps to bring awareness to how realistic (or unrealistic) your plan may be.
Maybe your plan is really intense and has you working on specific things that will take 30 hours every single day. Simple math tells me this is not possible no matter how awesome and productive you are. Without magic, it’s not possible. I know you’re magical, that’s not in question, but are you really going to put in 30 hours of work every day?
On the other hand, it may show you that you’re underestimating yourself. Maybe you get it on your calendar and realize there are more open spaces than you previously thought. What could you do to help yourself in those little pockets of open time? This is your opportunity to get creative.
7. Ask yourself what will prevent you from following through.
So, when those plans pop up on your schedule, what’s going to happen? Are you going to be able to follow through every time – no questions asked? Chances are the answer is going to be no. Things happen, and that’s okay. It’s a lot easier to adjust for those things when we anticipate them beforehand.
What kind of things may happen that could keep you from your plans? Do you have kids that sometimes get sick and stay home from school? Maybe sometimes you just don’t feel up to it. Do you have a job with a fluctuating workload? Think of who and what is in your life that could make it tempting to forgo your plans.
8. Make a plan to address those challenges.
I’m not saying you have to get rid of anything that may stand in your way of following through. Sometimes the better choice is to adjust your plans. You get to choose. The important part is that you have some kind of a plan just in case so you default to something you like at the moment.
For example, your plan for every Thursday is to work out and then have scheduled calls in the afternoon but… your kid gets sick and is home from school on a Thursday. This kid is unable to stay home alone or care for themself when sick. Uh oh.
Can you call in a backup caregiver? Maybe you choose to skip the gym for a home workout and then figure something out for those calls. Alternatively, you could push the planned workout and calls to another day.
The choice is yours. Just make sure you like what you choose to do. Whatever you decide, it does not have to mean you give up on all your plans forever (even when one “off” day turns into multiple days).
9. Learn to recognize your early warning signs.
What do you tend to do right BEFORE you start to stray from your plans? Do you procrastinate? Perhaps you turn to buffering behaviors like online shopping, eating, or binging some shows? These are signs that something is up. Maybe there’s fear or confidence is low. There could be self-dought or very little belief that the plan will actually work. Things could be harder than anticipated.
Or, maybe it’s just life creeping in again.
You catch a bug, feel physically awful, and just don’t have it in you to follow through. The season changes and you are pulled in a different direction. It could be a scheduling change snafu. Whatever it is, try to notice the changes that happen right before those plans get left hanging. Stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean your dreams and the life you want have to wait.
This is one of the biggest keys to learning how to turn things around. You can have all the planning and such in place, but if you don’t pay attention to yourself, following through is an uphill battle.
Clarification: this point doesn’t mean you have to keep going and stick to the plan at all costs. Sometimes it is the better choice to pump the breaks. You can change, shift, adapt, or uproot everything completely. Just make sure you are doing it consciously and intentionally, not as the default in response to something else.
10. Recalibrate every time something comes up.
In other words, don’t give up. Know that it won’t all unfold perfectly. Challenges will pop up in your path. Stick with the big picture, long-term goal, unless of course, you’re changing it for a very real reason.
It’s completely fine if things don’t go as planned. That’s normal. If it’s really important to you, find a way back to it. When you feel the pull or start thinking about how you want it, that’s your big sign to go back to the first step. Ask yourself why things are the way they are, and then go from there.
You’ve got this!
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This blog post relates to the word ten (how to turn things around in 10 steps). Here are some more blog posts related to the word “ten” (but not how to turn things around) from other sites:
10 Things I Learned While Waiting On God by Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahallett.com/10-things-i-learned-while-waiting-on-god/
10 Ways to Spend a Rainy Day With Kids At Home by Amy Cobb
https://www.tayloredintent.com/blog/10-ways-to-spend-a-rainy-day-with-kids-at-home
The Ten Lepers – A Lesson in Thankfulness by Lisa Granger
https://lisamarcelina.net/the-ten-lepers—a-lesson-in-thankfulness/
Never Travel Without These Ten Things by Jessica Weaver
www.rootedunrooted.com/blog/never-travel-without-these-ten-things
When Emotional or Mental Pain Is a 10 by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2022/09/01/when-emotional-or-mental-pain-is-a-10/