You thought it would be different, Lonely Mom. You weren’t exactly sure what it would be like, but it turned out to be all kinds of soul-crushing lonely you never expected. Sure there were others around you all along. However, they’re mere bystanders peeking in from the outside. Not a single soul from your circle or network could possibly understand the unique dynamics of your life. You can’t help but wonder if they have even tried. Have they ever known about your pain? If not, why not? If so, why has nothing been done?
It doesn’t have to be like this.
I’m here to do something about this trend of lonely motherhood. Yes, I’m determined to do something about it, no matter what it takes. To do something about it, the first step is to explore the root of the problem.
- The generational gap is wide. This makes moms of littles feel like strangers in the company of parents of grown children.
- Men and dads don’t fully get it, even when they try their best. Perhaps they shouldn’t be expected to?
- Other moms, wow, what a hit! They do things differently.
There’s judgment and shame layered on top of the fear and yearning for things to be different. Deep down, there’s a yearning for closeness, compassion, and friendship. Why can’t that be easy?
The secret: It can be easy, Lonely Mom, it can.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Moms need a tribe, a sisterhood. I’m on a mission to make sure lonely moms feel welcome. Every mom should know how much she belongs (hint – it’s a lot).
Isn’t it time for a new name, Lonely Mom?
No matter who you are or where you are, it’s possible to feel less lonely. You are not alone. I see you. There are people in this world who “get” you and your journey. So, let’s talk about your new name.
How about Supported Mom? What about Superstar Mom? I would even go for “Kinda, Sorta, Maybe Has Some Hope” Mom. Let’s just drop the Lonely Mom for something with a little more possibility, shall we?
Here’s the deal: You don’t have to fully believe in the impossible to open the door to possibility.
Open an eye or ear, cautiously, if you must. Consider some possibilities. Could your brain or heart be open to the idea that things could be way better than you ever thought possible? Just take one step… and when you’re ready-enough, take another.
Pro tip: Don’t wait until you’re fully ready. Fully ready may never come, and even if it does, you don’t need to drag it out for years. Do it when you feel a little nervous and uneasy. That’s called growth.
In reality, feeling alone or being undersupported are not reasons to remain miserable and lonely. Being lonely is not a reason to make bad life decisions. It’s certainly not a justification to allow the pain to negatively impact others. Instead, it’s an invitation to heal and be a positive force in the world.
I promise there’s way more happiness in supporting yourself and others, and creating real change, than there is at the bottom of that tub of ice cream (or bottle of wine, online shopping, toxically scrolling social media, insert your current default). There is definitely more happiness in authentically living your life purpose than chasing the seemingly greener grass on the other side of the fence. Step away. I’ll step away with you. Let’s step toward something better.
Take a moment for yourself to truly listen to your deepest wishes, and your most outlandish dreams. Seriously, do it now. I’ll wait.
I get it. Sometimes the balance between motherhood and stuff for us, connection, our dreams, can feel completely impossible. There’s this idea that it’s an either/or.
Why can’t it be an and? You just wish there were room for both. There’s a deep desire to be present and involved in the mom role, soaking up every second of precious time with the little ones. At the same time, there’s a longing to pursue something more, a career, a life purpose, to leave your mark on the world.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret, friend. You can have both. There are ways to make it all happen. This doesn’t have to remain a dream that exists only behind closed eyelids.
If this message hits you to the core then our bond runs deeper than friends, and more intentional than geographical or lifestyle conveniences.
We all get different circumstances in life. Please don’t wait for yours to change on their own. You don’t need someone else to change in order for you to change. Even if they would, nobody else could heal and grow for you. It’s an inside job. Anyone else on the journey with you is for guidance and support, they aren’t the answer.
You can’t outsource mind and body healing.
Growth can’t be handed off to someone who cares about you, no matter how much they want to help. It has to be you. That absolutely doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone. Actually, it’s the opposite. I stand for finding a tribe and holding on tight. Yes, you are powerful enough to do it all on your own, but why would you? It’s just not necessary, and doing it together is so much more fun!
You don’t have to be a lonely mom anymore, Courageous Mom (just trying some names until we find the perfect fit). I’ve got your back. Let’s do this together.
Looking to step away from that Lonely Mom title, and more than a blog post? Perhaps a bit of support on your journey? You don’t have to do it all alone. I’ve got your back.
Click here to learn about how we can work together.
This blog post is about loneliness (Lonely Mom, or feeling alone in motherhood). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘lonely’ (but not lonely motherhood) from other sites:
Is God Lonely for You? By Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahalleyy.com/is-god-lonely-for-you/
Loved vs. Lonely by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/5c456855-76dc-499f-90cd-6ffef071a3d3
Simple Is Better Lent – When Lonely is OK by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2023/03/01/simple-is-better-lent-when-lonely-is-ok/
Lonely in a Digital World by Amy Cobb
https://www.tayloredintent.com/blog/lonely-in-a-digital-world
Breaking the Stigma: Understanding and Talking About Loneliness by MelAnn
https://lifesouvenirs.net/p/breaking-the-stigma