Hey there Amazing Mama, I see you. Yes, you, the one reading this (stop looking over your shoulder). It’s you and you really are amazing. I see you burning the candle at both ends day after day. Let’s not even start with the amount of sleep you get (or don’t get). Someone is always needing something from you, a piece of you. That’s the practical side. Then there’s the mental load of all you manage and have weighing on your mind and heart constantly. I see you. This one goes out to all the amazing women facing mom burnout and yearning for relief.
The Realities of Mom Burnout
Let’s talk about needs. You’re exhausted and need a break, and there’s more. If we dig a little deeper, peel away the layers, what will we find? You have shifted and transitioned so much in your adult life. Can you even recognize yourself from the girl just steeping out into the “real world” before kids? Wow, she was doing things and going places.
Now you have the most incredible gift of being a mother. With that incredible gift comes incredible responsibility. You wouldn’t trade it for anything, of course. However, there is still room left over to yearn for more. I’m here to tell you that there can be more, even when you’re facing mom burnout. Actually, there needs to be more especially when you’re facing mom burnout.
“What?!” you may be thinking. Stick with me, this may sound crazy at first, but I promise there’s something to it. You’re probably thinking that you want something for just you. Then you talk yourself out of it because it’s not realistic. You can hardly stay afloat as it is let alone carve out more time for something else. There is no free time. There is no wiggle room.
Want to know the big secret to overcoming mom burnout? Of course you do. It’s energizing and fulfilling. This is something that benefits you, your kids, and the whole family all at the same time. It sounds like a magical solution to all the problems. In a way, it is.
The secret to overcoming mom burnout is finding and pursuing a deep passion, a life purpose.
As impossible as it may seem, carving out time for a passion is energizing. It’s not depleting or draining, it’s the opposite. This is what gets rid of those grumpy, frustrated days. Life purpose and resentment can never live together inside the same human. It makes the time spent with the family quality time. Things run oh so much more smoothly. This is because moms are at the center of the family. When mom thrives, everyone thrives.
Think about it. How do you interact with the family when you are feeling down? When you have negative thoughts, what happens with everyone else? You get to model for your kids what you want them to learn. What do you want them to learn from you?
Hint: I vote you show them how to find passions and pursue life purpose.
Now, let’s talk about that happiness piece.
What is happiness and why do we want it, anyway? Happy seems like a logical thing to want to be, right? Or is it? I find it so, so important to continually question thoughts, especially when they keep coming back. Sometimes it shows up in a theme of different but related thoughts. They’re trying to tell us we are unhappy in some way and need to make changes. This is good, but not always a clear picture of reality.
Our brains want us to go for happiness and run away from discomfort. Okay, fine, but sometimes that can get us into trouble. I’m talking about short-term gratification versus long-term reward.
It’s not always going to be easy, but the challenges make it more rewarding. Hey, mom burnout isn’t easy, either.
Finding passion and pursuing life purpose can feel pretty icky at times. It’s change and transition, which involves some discomfort. That leads to growth, the growth necessary to achieve. Real, pure, true happiness lies in the achievement of that deeper goal. This passion and life purpose business can be challenging, but don’t let that fool you.
Thoughts will pop up in your brain all along this journey. They will tell you to go back to how you were before. The warnings will flood in, telling you not to pursue your life purpose. They will tell you there is too much discomfort in the passion. Those thoughts may say the life purpose is impossible.
All these thoughts are pressuring you to make a choice that leads to false happiness. Short-term gratification is just that, it’s short lived. It’s really just discomfort in disguise. The “pleasures” of temptation generally leave us feeling pretty bad after.
The Truth of Happiness
Do you know what leaves a deep, long-lasting feeling of happiness? It’s looking back on all that has been overcome. After you have braved challenge after challenge there is a special gift. It’s something not possible with short-term gratification. This is a gift that must be earned by sacrificing those quick and easy pleasures for something more meaningful down the road.
Pause for a moment.
Consider how you will feel a year from now, 10 years from now, if you take each road. What will your life be like in the future if you continue to carry the burden of mom burnout? What will happen if you believe your passion is for later, or worse impossible?
Now, what will your life be like in the future if you take the “easy” (but actually not-so-easy) road? What will happen if you believe in yourself and go for it? I know, it may be hard for you to believe in yourself right now. I’ve got you. Hold on to my belief in you until you can grow enough of your own.
Amazing Mama, my belief in you is overflowing.
Seriously. There is no hesitation from me, none. You can do incredible things.
Are you ready to move forward? It’s time to be who you were meant to be. You don’t have to do it alone. I’m right here with you.
What if you don’t know your passion? Is your life purpose path clear as mud? That’s okay. Sometimes we get too deep in the daily life to see it. In reality, it’s the daily life and all the hardships we face that generally lead us right to it. We just have to read the signs. So, Amazing Mama, I’m going to help you find your life purpose to you can travel that true, pure happiness journey.
How to Drop the Mom Burnout to Find Life Purpose and True Happiness
Before we get started with this process, I want to be clear on something important. It can take time to home in on life purpose. Please, try to be patient with yourself. Each little blip that seems like a detour is really a guide. The path is not linear, nor should it be. That’s part of the fun, even when it seems hard.
1. Decide you want to find and pursue your life purpose. (At least decide to ditch the mom burnout.)
Ask yourself honestly, is this something you really want to do? Some people are content with the status quo, and that’s completely fine. No judgement here! Everyone gets to choose. It’s okay you decide not to go on a life purpose journey. However, I do suggest you at least find support or some kind of relief for the mom burnout. That could come in the form of hiring someone to clean, finding childcare, or picking up a hobby. Do whatever works for you.
Now, if you decide something is missing, and you yearn for life purpose, commit. Don’t hang back and wait for life to happen to you. Fully declare your commitment and dive in. It will energize you far more than the energy it takes.
2. Do a brain dump.
Pull out a blank sheet of paper and write out all your thoughts. Anything that comes to mind is perfect, seriously. If pen and paper doesn’t work for you then switch it up. Type it out or voice record a rant. Just get a stream of thoughts out of your brain and store them somewhere. This frees the mind from holding on to those thoughts behind the scenes. You want a clear mind before moving on to the next phase.
3. Feel the feels.
Did any feelings come up with that brain dump? If you stirred up any negative emotions, resist the urge to push them aside. Fear, anger, frustration, sadness, resentment, or something else may want your attention. Suppressing negative emotions doesn’t make them go away. Actually, it often makes them stronger. Take a moment to just sit with them. Let yourself cry, feel yucky, and process whatever feelings come up and need to be processed.
4. Evaluate the current situation.
Assess how things are going with you and your life. Ask yourself these questions in order (yes, it really does matter).
- What is currently going well? There is always something. If you can’t find anything then you’re just not looking hard enough.
- How have you grown or learned from experiencing mom burnout? Again, there’s always something. Nothing is too trivial.
- What could be improved? Try to be specific with this one.
- How are you going to improve and when? This is where you start to make an actual plan. Then you do, preferably at the planned time.
5. Organize your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and burning passions.
With the practical plan in hand, you now have more freedom to plan your dreams. Make lists of all the things you like and dislike, along with your strengths and weaknesses. Then think about what really lights you up. What are your passions?
6. Analyze the data.
After you compile the lists, you can more easily determine where things overlap. What patterns arise? Does anything stand out to you? Try not to discount any weaknesses too soon. Those can usually be turned into challenges to overcome if the desire is there.
7. Decide and get started.
Now is not the time for decision paralysis. Make a decision. Choose one idea to try and run with it. No, it may not be your life purpose, but I promise the experience will tell you something. This is a journey. The road may not be direct but keep going. Reassess and adjust as needed and you will eventually connect with your purpose.
Just like that you are well on your way!
Need a little support along the way? I’m here for you. Click here to learn more about working together.
This blog post relates to happiness (mom burnout and how to be happy). Here are some more blog posts related to the word “happiness” (but not about mom burnout) from other sites:
Chasing Happiness By Sharla Hallett
www.sharlahallett.com/chasing-happiness/
Finding True Happiness and Keeping It By Lisa Granger
https://lisamarcelina.net/finding-true-happiness-and-keeping-it/
3 Days By MelAnn
https://graceandrapture.substack.com/p/3-days
Seeing Happiness Right in Your Life By Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2021/10/01/seeing-happiness-right-in-your-life/
The Summer of Happiness Recap of Summer 2021 By Jessica Haberman
https://storytellerfarm.com/the-summer-of-happiness-recap-of-summer-2021/
How to Be Happy By Amy Cobb