There’s a magical word that can change your life. This word fosters deeper understanding and stimulates the growth of knowledge. It has the power to shift thinking and beliefs, which changes the way we show up. The things we do, our actions, and the way we interact with others, are all influenced by our thoughts and beliefs. The most powerful word is…
Drum roll, please!
Why?
The most powerful word is why. Ask it as a question. It is a signal of curiosity in the brain. Curiosity can defeat judgment and forge friendships. It can lead to understanding and compassion.
The most powerful word is “why” asked as a question.
You can ask the question of others or yourself. It’s the most powerful word in parenting. Seriously, it can completely change a day.
Consider this: Your child is completely losing it. I know, never happens, right? Wink, I get it. Anyway, the child is screaming and refusing to put on their shoes after 30+ minutes. Apparently, the meal they begged you to make especially for them is now completely revolting. Perhaps they even threw it on the floor. It’s completely unreasonable and unacceptable. Got it.
Let’s use the most powerful word.
Why is my child screaming? Is there something I didn’t see before asking why? What could be happening with them?
Ahhh, yes, it was a late night last night. Today was a long day. We did a lot of stuff. They are tired and dysregulated. That kid was pushed way beyond the limit. It wasn’t even within their control. External forces happened. The adults made the decisions. They were expected to keep it all together despite being completely depleted.
There it is. The understanding and compassion flow in. Life as a kid can be tough sometimes. Then there’s another step.
Hint, hint: This applies to big kids and adults as well.
Ask another question: How can I support them?
Asking the question of “why?” transitions thoughts and feelings. The brain goes into connection and problem-solving modes because of the most powerful word. You will calm nearly instantly and be able to genuinely soften your tone and interactions.
Transition from stressed and frustrated to calm and compassionate with a single word.
Do they need a hug, or simply to be verbally acknowledged and validated? Your brain will come up with all kinds of ideas. These ideas will be more constructive. Then, you will be able to offer some possibilities for connection.
Your calmer energy will help to calm them, even if they turn down offers for connection. It’s the complete opposite of getting mad and escalating the situation.
It’s not perfect. Sometimes it’s challenging to get to a place of asking the most powerful word. When your nervous system is activated, it may not come naturally. Practice helps, so try to make it a habit.
Let’s talk about a simple roadmap to make using the most powerful word a reflex.
Explore a possible cue, something that tells you it’s time to use the most powerful word. It helps to be aware of thoughts and feelings. Thoughts that society typically deems as negative, or judgemental thoughts, are perfect. Feeling tense or stressed is another good opportunity. Remind yourself that these thoughts and feelings simply mean it’s time for the most powerful word.
Make a point to consciously ask “why?” throughout the day. Do this before something pops up and activates the nervous system. Then it will be easier to do it with an activated nervous system after it has been practiced in a calm state.
Regardless of how it goes, don’t beat yourself up over it. Creating new habits can take time. This is no different. The most powerful word is an opportunity to grow, not a reason to stress when your expectations of yourself don’t match reality.
The most powerful word is meant for increased understanding and compassion, for you, too.
If you begin to feel frustrated or judge your progress, go back to the most powerful word: “Why?” Why are you feeling that way? What are you thinking? Is there anything you want to do differently? Show up for yourself with the same understanding and compassion that you want to offer the child. What you think about and say to yourself matters. After all, you are just as deserving.
Ask another important question: “How can I support myself?”
You can do this. Keep an open mind and aim for improvement, no matter what challenges you face. Remember, improvement doesn’t look continuous. Sometimes it feels like backtracking. That’s okay, and it’s good.
I’m here to support you every step of the way. Along with the most powerful word, my free relaxation recording is the perfect place to start. Let’s shift your life, together!!!
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I’m super excited to work with you. Yes, with you!! I know you’re serious about making this happen.
Send me a quick email and we’ll chat about the possibilities. You don’t even have to type a formal message. Just say “MAGIC” and I’ll know what you mean. 😉 All you have to do is take a step… and then another. It only feels intimidating because it means something. That’s okay, and it’s a good thing.
This blog post is about a word (the most powerful word). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘word’ (but not about the most powerful word “why?”) from other sites:
The Word That Matters by Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahallett.com/the-word-that-matters/
Use Words Wisely by Regina Marcazzo-Skarka
https://reginamarcazzoskarka.com/use-words-wisely/
Simple is Better – Words Matter by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2024/03/01/simple-is-better-words-matter/
Words: Building Blocks For Your Soul by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/words-building-blocks-for-your-soul