This title may get a few laughs and eye rolls. That’s because it’s not typically believed that productivity and kids go together. I often hear moms say “I have kids so I get nothing done” or “The kids are home from school today” along with a message about how the entire day of productivity will be lost.
Yup, I get it. Kids have their own brains, thoughts, emotions, and needs. Sometimes those things are in direct conflict with your productivity. It happens. Also, we can still be productive. No, I don’t mean 100% of the time will be productive. However, we can be productive enough to crush huge goals.
Let’s consider an example.
I earned my doctorate degree with two kids. Actually, my second was born after I started taking classes. I started taking a couple of classes toward my doctorate while I was finishing up my master’s degree. Also, I was working. That means I did it through the pregnancy and postpartum phases with another little one. while my older one started school during this time, my younger one was home the entire time. There was no local family support. My husband was overseas part of the time, then we all moved overseas together. Learning and mastering productivity with kids was essential.
During each phase of life, productivity with kids has been different. This includes phases of where we live, my kid’s developmental stages, and my priorities at any given time. It takes continued re-evaluation and adjustment to be productive long-term with kids (and without kids). The key is to find a new rhythm of productivity whenever there is a shift.
Productivity and Kids – Finding Rhythm with Babies and Little Kids
We tried and failed many different kinds of care with my older daughter. None of it lasted because nothing worked, except her being home with me. When I say it didn’t work I mean that she and I both struggled more when she was not with me all day every day. Sure there was some uninterrupted time while she was cared for by someone else, but her needs were exponential in the aftermath. If you know, you know. During those phases of trying other care options, my overall productivity was low. Plus, it didn’t work for her. It wasn’t even close to worth it for us, so she stayed home with me. Needing my kids home with me was so clear with our family dynamics by the time I had my second that we didn’t even try other options.
Childcare works well for many families in the baby and little kid phase. If it works for you, great! Always do what works best for you, your kids, and your family. It didn’t work for us, so I found other options that still allowed me to progress toward my big goals.
Careers and kids can thrive together.
My career has been important to me throughout my motherhood journey. Completely giving up on my career would not have been the best option for any of us. So, I found ways to advance my career while staying home with my kids. I chose the schools and programs that allowed me to fulfill most requirements remotely. Instead of accepting jobs requiring me to leave home, I have built my own business around my needs. Sometimes it was really hard, but it was definitely worth all the effort.
There were times I turned down career moves that looked better, but in reality, they weren’t. I would have had to sacrifice things I wasn’t willing to sacrifice. The really amazing thing is that in making those decisions I gave up a lot in the short-term, but gained a lot more long-term. For example, I could have accepted jobs outside the home that paid more and allowed me to work my way up to higher positions. Instead, I accepted lower-paying positions that allowed me the flexibility to work from home, go to school, and start my business. I invested a lot of time and money into my business without any guarantee of success.
It all paid off. I pushed through the challenging times to graduate with the best degree for me, in the perfect field for me. After years of ups and downs and slow growth (because my focus was also on my education and kids), my business is profitable, sustainable, and growing. More importantly, I have collected so much knowledge about how to be successful in business that I’m confident I could figure out anything that comes my way.
What looked like sacrificing my career with kids at home for 8.5 years is exactly what got me to the best career for me.
My clients are mothers. Building an online business wasn’t just good for me, it was good for them as well. They can have video calls with me while they are home with their kids (preferably sleeping or otherwise entertained). Mothers who would not have made appointments at offices get support from home. I have built a deep understanding of the unique needs of mothers and families because I have lived it. Now I can support my clients in ways I never would have been able to do without these experiences.
Productivity and Kids – School Rhythm
There tends to be an idea that things will be so much easier once all the kids are in school full days. While some things get easier, it’s far from perfect. School hours are not the same as working hours for most jobs. What about after school? Then there’s the logistical complication of getting kids to and from school and responsibilities such as packing lunches, plus all the other things that pop up with school and coordination.
There’s a time block when the kids are in school, but it’s not a full 8-hour day that could be allocated for work. This is where we have an opportunity to get scrappy. There are tons of other responsibilities such as cooking and cleaning, and I still want to be present with my kids before and after school. You get to be creative and decide how you want this to go.
When my kids are at school, I choose to prioritize the things that I most want to do alone. Most of the time that means very focused work, the tasks that flow a lot better without interruptions. I consider the tasks and goals of the week and plan them out into the school hours. Then I forget about anything that is not important. Whatever is left can be done when the kids are home, mornings, evenings, and weekends.
Productivity and Kids – Home Rhythm
Even when kids are in school full time, they aren’t really in school full time. School isn’t full-time. There are holidays, sick days, and months over the summer. These days have a different flow. My priorities shift when my kids are home, so my productivity shifts. While I still move forward with work projects, it’s different. Similar to when they were younger, I still slow my career progression in these phases. That’s my choice, and it works for me. It may be different for you, and that’s great. Perhaps it would be different for me if I had support, someone to be present with my kids while I work, but most of the time I don’t. It’s all about assessing the circumstances and making the best decisions for us based on those realities.
Regardless of the circumstances, there’s always something you can do.
You get to choose how you respond to your circumstances. Productivity with kids is possible. You get to create a rhythm that works for you.
Tips for productivity with kids include:
- Know your priorities, and know when they change.
- Drop the idea that the conditions need to be perfect for it to be effective.
- Find the intersections between your needs and your kid’s needs (they really do exist).
- Change what it’s working, even if it worked in the past.
- Consider going back to old systems in new phases if they fit.
- Create systems and a lifestyle that works.
Are you looking for something to help you in creating a rhythm that works for you?
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Send me a quick email (ashley@ashleyolivine.com) and we’ll chat about the possibilities. You don’t even have to type a formal message. Just say “MAGIC” and I’ll know what you mean. 😉 All you have to do is take a step… and then another. It only feels intimidating because it means something. That’s okay, and it’s a good thing.
This blog post is about rhythm (creating a rhythm of productivity with kids). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘rhythm’ (but not about how to be productive with kids) from other sites:
Rhythms of Life With God by Sharla Hallett
www.sharlahallett.com/rhythms-of-life-with-god/
The Rhythm of Wrestling with Restlessness by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/the-rhythm-of-wrestling-with-restlessness
Simple Is Better: When Rhythm Feels Hard by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2024/08/01/simple-is-better-when-rhythm-feels-hard