One of the most common challenges I hear from my community is stress. There’s a never-ending list of things to do. On top of that, there’s the emotional load of thinking through and keeping track of all the things. Let’s talk about how to shift from feeling stressed to calm.
Stress is a normal part of life that comes and goes. It’s the perpetual, long-term stress that is not normal.
Before we go into normal vs. abnormal stress, I want to define the term “normal” in this context to make sure it’s understood. When I say “normal” or “abnormal” as part of this post I mean the way our bodies and minds were (or were not, in the case of abnormal) designed to function. So a normal level and cycle of stress would be going through phases that are calm, challenging, and even downright horrible, and then back to calm. Normal stress ebbs and flows – we were not made to be in a constant state of calm.
We were also not made to be in a constant state of stress. This is the perpetual, long-term stress I mentioned that is abnormal. This is where I typically get a lot of objections, so let me clarify. It is common, unfortunately, for people in our society today to feel stressed long-term. That doesn’t mean it’s a normal thing. It simply means that far too many people are experiencing abnormal stress.
What is a normal level of stress?
There really is no perfect, normal level of stress. It is different for everyone. Also, it changes. Stress levels can change many times throughout the day. They can also flow through phases of high or low stress depending on what is happening in life and other health measures. Instead of an ideal level, it’s more of a range or balance. There are a few signs to look out for to determine if stress is normal or reason for concern.
Short-term vs. Long-term Stress
We hear all the time that stress is bad and that we need to de-stress. This isn’t wrong, but it’s also not the whole story. Part of the reason we hear all these messages is because such a large portion of the population is overly and chronically stressed. It’s leading to countless negative health effects. Yes, absolutely make sure to destress when it’s too much. Also, stress can actually be good in some cases. Let’s dig into that more.
The biggest difference between short and long term stress is being able to regularly calm from that stress in a healthy way. For example, ending a crazy day with activities that bring joy or people who represent healthy relationships help to balance out and calm stress. There may be moments of relatively high stress, but it’s temporary.
Short-term stress may look like finishing up a big project at work or needing to take a child to the ER for an injury and then returning home to mend. After those things are handled, it’s time to wind down. Long-term stress, on the other hand, may look like working in a job that is not a good fit and dreading going to work every day for years. It may look like having a chronically ill child without proper support or ways to cope. In this case, the time between stressful events may be spent worrying or not calming enough between events.
Thoughts as Clues
Another big sign about normal vs. abnormal stress is thought patterns. It’s completely normal for negative thoughts to pop in. That’s okay, but where do they go next? Do those negative thoughts come and go? Are they replaced with thoughts of hope and encouragement? Or do they continue to spiral into doubt, overwhelm, or other unproductive feelings?
Negative thoughts serve as warning signs. They tell us to look out for potential danger. This is our opportunity to react or plan in a way that serves us. Signs of using negative thoughts in a positive way are having positive thoughts as well, moving forward with goals or following through with what you want, and having a generally positive outlook.
However, sometimes those thoughts can turn into a stress spiral. This may look like procrastination, feeling blocked, not moving forward with goals, or something else. It’s easy to fall into this pattern. It’s also possible to retrain the brain to not fall into this pattern.
How to Shift from Stressed to Calm
So, what do you do if you find yourself overly stressed or unable to calm enough between stressful events? The great news is that you’re already well on your way! Awareness is the first step. Sometimes people find themselves so used to the feeling of stress, and so surrounded by others in the same boat, that they think it’s normal. It’s not. If you’re starting to see the difference, you’re moving in the direction of calm!
The details of calming look a little different for everyone, but there are some common themes. Customize your calming strategies as needed. If you ever start to feel more stressed by something that is “supposed to” be calming, then it may just not be for you.
Calming methods may include nature, physical body movement, thought processing, and connection with others who represent healthy relationships. My favorites combine multiple of these. For example, I often exercise or walk, sometimes outdoors, stopping frequently to make notes of my thoughts.
What are some ways you could move from stressed to calm regularly or daily?
Think it out! Ask your brain that question and it will magically come up with ideas. They may not all come right away, but eventually, they will pop into your mind if you keep asking.
I’m working on some new resources to help shift from stressed to calm. Make sure to join my email community here so you get access automatically as soon as they’re available. It’s going to be epic!
Feeling like you want a little more support learning how to shift from stressed to calm? I’ve got your back.
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This blog post is about calm (shifting from stressed to calm). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘calm’ (but not the same take on shifting from stressed to calm) from other sites:
Calm in the Midst of a Storm by Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahallett.com/calm-in-the-midst-of-a-storm/
How to Calm Anxiety When Overwhelmed by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/how-to-calm-anxiety-when-overwhelmed
Simple Is Better – Yearning for Calm When It Keeps Running Away by Dianne Vielhuber