Success is not what society dictates, pressures from people, or the critical words that play in your head. Instead, it’s living in alignment with what you know to be true for you. This is different for everyone, so society and judgemental or well-meaning people couldn’t possibly know everything. Those critical words are thoughts, simply part of the brain’s warning system, but not necessarily true. I’m going to show you how to define success your way.
It’s not about getting A+ grades in school, landing a “good” job, getting married, buying a home, and having kids by a certain age. This is far deeper than designer clothes and high-performance cars. Sure, you can have all those things if you want them, but only if that’s true to your deep desires. The goal here is to find what is most important to you at your core.
What is success your way?
You are the only person who can really pinpoint and map out success your way, for you. I’m a guide in this scenario, while you are making the discoveries and decisions. What lights you up?
Success your way is the intersection of your passions, personality, and what you are willing (and even excited) to learn. My Brain Magic course follows a scientifically proven method to reveal and unlock your purpose. There are guided exercises to make it happen. I’ve got you. Let’s make it happen together.
This “thing” that lights you up doesn’t have to be your strengths and special skills if you are willing to learn and get better. Capitalizing on your current skills and strengths may save you time, but make sure they’re pointing you in the right direction. Are those natural traits? Were they developed out of passion, or did you hone them because you were going along with someone else’s definition of success?
If you got amazingly good at something because you thought you had to or due to outside pressures, you have choices:
- Do you want to keep doing that because it’s better for some reason? (Pro tip: make sure you really like that reason.)
- Is it best for you to switch to something different completely?
- Could you apply at least parts of those skills to something you passionately want to do?
Success your way is your purpose. It’s what you look forward to when you first wake up in the morning and what allows you to go to sleep at night with a sense of completeness. I’m not talking about family and friends. They have their own way of success, they are outside of you.
Success your way brings meaning to your life.
Friends and family are the people you want by your side as you face the highs and lows of success your way. They are essential, and they are different from your purpose. This is the thing you want to do regardless of who is with you because it comes from your desires, not theirs.
Yes, it is also about the people, but not in a people-pleasing kind of way. It can be (partially) about the people and experiences who have shaped you. Also, you may be fueled by service to a certain group of people. That’s great, as long as it’s for the right reasons and aligned with your definition of success.
The key to success your way: Choose curiosity over doubt.
Be the little kid seeing the whole world with fresh eyes. They ask “Why, why, why” a million and a half times per day. That could be you, learning and growing at lightning speed. Except, after you have an idea of your new direction, you’re going to ask “how, how, how” a million times per day.
Your brain is going to want to tell you “no” to everything new. Good, that’s its job. That’s not where this ends. There’s an “and” and it continues. Your brain says “no” or “it’s impossible” and you move forward. Your brain is simply warning you, protecting you from potential failures. It points out areas of possible challenges so you can prepare and overcome them. Every time your brain shuts you down, think of a way to continue the sentence.
Try one of these to train your brain for success your way:
- “No, you will have to approach it in a slightly different way.”
- “That’s impossible unless you shift a little.”
- “No, you will have to let go of something in your way, first.”
- “It’s impossible until you grow into the person who makes it possible.”
It’s your brain, so you get to choose what to think.
Do you see how those critical thoughts can guide you forward? Don’t shut them down before they have a chance to explain. Ask them “How is this possible?” or “What can I do to make it happen” and see how they change their tune. It would be nice if they would present themselves differently from the start, but once you learn how to communicate with them they will be more helpful.
It all starts with the brain. Getting “stuck” with thoughts stalls progress. When you shift your thinking from doubt to curiosity, everything else falls into place naturally. You gain momentum and move forward faster than you previously thought possible.
This doesn’t have to be big and complicated. Even seemingly tiny shifts in the brain can change everything. It starts with awareness, and then a choice.
What are you going to choose?
I’m rooting for you. Choose success your way. I believe in you, and I’m here to support you along the way.
Are you looking for support as you discover and navigate success your way (or during any other phase)?
Make sure to join my email community here and I’ll send you my favorite tool to get your brain into the zone that allows for thoughts to shift! It’s the foundation that I use with every new client. This is priceless!
Do you feel like you want a little more support with emotions and your brain?
I’ve got your back.
Click here to learn about my Brain Magic course.
Looking for more support?
Click here to learn about how we can work together.
I’m super excited to work with you. Yes, with you!! I know you’re serious about making this happen.
Send me a quick email (ashley@ashleyolivine.com) and we’ll chat about the possibilities. You don’t even have to type a formal message. Just say “BRAIN MAGIC” and I’ll know what you mean. 😉 All you have to do is take a step… and then another. It only feels intimidating because it means something. That’s okay, and it’s a good thing.
This blog post is about success (success your way). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘success’ (but not about success your way) from other sites:
Marginal Success with Succulents: A Humorous Murder Mystery by Darla Dwyer
Bright Spots in the Season: Let the Light Shine Through Our Longings by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/bright-spots-in-the-season-let-the