There’s something gloomy creeping across the motherhood community. I’m not going to hide or deny it because that would be a disservice to humanity. Let’s face it to change it. Far too many moms are frustrated, overwhelmed, unfulfilled, and unhappy. This isn’t a mental health disorder or being overly negative. It’s the result of crappy cultural norms and not knowing what to do about it. This leads to feeling unseen, unheard, and stuck. Throw in a side of being undersupported and it’s a recipe for misery. It doesn’t have to be like that. The life you want is possible. Let’s make it happen.
Get happy before making any big, quick decisions.
This comes with a word of caution. By nature, human thought tends to go to the extreme. Have you ever stressed over the worst-case scenario? Resist the urge to do a massive life overhaul. If you’re feeling at all unstable, seek the support of a trained professional such as a therapist. If you’re feeling unhappy as opposed to just not satisfied or aligned, take a pause. Work on yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings before making any life decisions. This is assuming you’re not in danger – in that case, do what you need to do for safety. Again, reach out for support.
How to figure out what you want… and then get it!
Sometimes we know we don’t like our current situation, but we’re also not quite sure what we want. That’s completely fine. We can start where we are and move forward. It’s generally a process of figuring it out along the way. Trying new things can help us learn what we do and don’t want in life.
Thought or journal prompt #1: What is one new thing you can try today, this week, or this month?
This can be anything. Try a new hobby. Start taking a morning or evening walk. Have you ever considered taking a class of some kind? Get creative. Brainstorm a few things you would like to try. You get to choose what you do. Decide on one that is interesting and fits into your current life without too much disruption. You can always make bigger changes later.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
Now that we have thrown in a little more joy in life, let’s reflect. A lot of times the human brain looks at other people or considers paths not taken. This is normal. Also, try not to get too caught up in the comparison to real life as it is. It can be easy to get sucked into the narrative that if we change that one thing then all our problems will fade away. Maybe we’re even more realistic and acknowledge that there will still be problems, but life will be a whole lot better. Be careful with these thoughts. Consider them and get curious. Also, know that when it comes to some of that stuff, sometimes what we already have is the best option.
Thought or journal prompt #2: Think of something that seems like a better option. Consider why it is appealing.
Here comes the real talk. Does the grass look greener on the other side of the fence because you’re avoiding something on your side? Perhaps there is a fear standing in your way? Is there something tough, a challenge, and the other side looks easier? The other side has challenges, too. You get to choose what challenges to go with, but every choice has them. Nothing is perfect. It’s always going to be a mix of great stuff and tough stuff. What package of great and tough do you want? You get to choose your side of the fence. Regardless of the side, you can choose your thoughts about that side.
The focus makes a big difference in the life you want.
There’s a benefit to recognizing the stuff we don’t like in life. It presents an opportunity for growth and change. Don’t like your job? Fantastic observation. Find a way to make that job better, get a new one, or start learning a new skill on the side. Also, don’t dwell on what you don’t like without doing anything about it. What kind of torture is that? If it’s within your control and you want to make a change, do it. If it’s outside your control or you choose not to make a change, find a way to cope.
Thought or journal prompt #3: What can you do to make this reality better for yourself? What opportunities or positives can you focus on?
Sometimes you just need to feel.
It’s okay to feel bad sometimes. Actually, it’s a good thing. This is how we process emotions. Anger and sadness are normal emotions for humans. Fear and discomfort come along with realization and change. Take the amount of time that is best for you to feel whatever emotions arise along the way. Again, seek support when beneficial or needed. You don’t have to do it alone. When you’re ready, go to thought or journal prompt #3 to plan and refocus.
Getting the life you want may be easier than you think.
The human brain often thinks massive changes in life are needed to get massive changes in quality of life. That’s simply not true. Small shifts can make a big impact. Also, a big part of the quality of life comes down to the thoughts we think. We can have the exact same life, retrain the brain to think differently, and feel completely differently about life. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek our life purpose and chase dreams, because I encourage that. It simply means that we can work with what we have. We don’t have to wait until all the stars align to be happy and fulfilled. You get to choose your thoughts. Those thoughts determine how you experience your reality. They change everything.
Thought or journal prompt #4: What are some thoughts that are keeping you from feeling the way you want to feel? What thoughts can you think instead?
Are you ready to discover and live the life you want?
It’s not too late. Also, let’s not wait. Do you want more support than a blog post with some thought or journal prompts? We can get started right now.
I get it. Stuff can be overwhelming, especially when life gets life-y. You don’t have to do it all alone.
Feeling like saying “YES” to living the life you want? Perhaps a bit of support on your journey? I’ve got your back.
Click here to learn about how we can work together.
This blog post is about choice (choosing the life you want). Here are more blog posts related to the word ‘choice’ (but not choosing the life you want) from other sites:
The Power of Choice. What Does God Say? by Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahallett.com/the-power-of-choice-what-does-god-say/
Find Your Way Back Home to Yourself by Lisa Crowder
https://lisacrowder.substack.com/p/find-your-way-back-home-to-yourself
Simple Is Better – Oh, the Choices That We Make! by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2023/05/01/simple-is-better-oh-the-choices-that-we-make/