Do you ever get frustrated while waiting for change? Something isn’t going well, and there’s a lot out of your control. I get it. As a military spouse, I’m currently waiting to find out where my husband will be stationed next (any day now).
Waiting is part of life… or is it?
Is waiting for change a choice?
Let’s consider this moving example. I don’t get to choose where he will be ordered to go. However, we, together, re-choose this life at every checkpoint. It’s not a lifetime commitment. Also, I’m not required to go. Every time he finds out a new location I choose to go with him (or occasionally live apart for a bit).
So, what about that waiting? I’ll be completely honest: I’m far from the most patient or elegantly composed waiter. Moments of annoyance at the situation and complaints are part of my routine. However, I notice the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and consciously decide to shift.
Getting Stuck in Waiting for Change
I don’t want to live in a cage of self-pity. Instead, I want to be aware of what’s happening and live intentionally. This applies to life in general, not just this example, or situations that involve waiting.
There are plusses and minuses of every situation. Sometimes it takes a little digging to find the silver lining. Also, what if you could become an expert at finding the silver lining? It’s a skill that can be honed.
When in a waiting phase, it’s helpful to find the good in the waiting. What are the benefits of the present, the here and now, and the time while waiting? It doesn’t have to be all frustration, annoyance, inconvenience, impatience, and waiting in a glum light. Waiting can be fun.
Waiting can be exciting, hopeful, and creative. What interesting scenarios can we wonder? During the waiting for military orders phase, I like to fantasize about the possibilities. What if it’s a certain city, state, or country? Where would we live, and what would our life be like?
How to Shift
Shifting out of that glum cage makes it easier to enjoy the present. Once the mind is un-stuck, it is more open to appreciation. We haven’t always lived in all my favorite places. However, they have all been good experiences in different ways.
Here are some examples:
- Living close-ish to family allowed us to see them more frequently.
- When we lived close to the ocean we got to run in the fresh air and misty breeze.
- Being out in the middle of nowhere was an opportunity to bike long distances without cars.
- Living in the city was so convenient to walk everywhere and do stuff without planning.
- When we were overseas we got to experience life very differently.
- Being on base provides security and allows my kids to have more independence.
Awareness of each of these benefits, and so many more, has allowed me to enjoy every location. There were some hardships at each. Also, I didn’t have to dwell on those.
Finding Opportunities while Waiting for Change
There’s an entire other layer, too. Waiting is a fantastic opportunity to prepare. For example, knowing that another move is looming, I can get ready for it. Before I even know where we’re going next, I can start to tie up loose ends. That means getting rid of physical belongings that I don’t want to take, regardless of where we go. It also means checking things off the list of things I want to do here before I’m far away.
Even when there are things outside your control, you get to choose. There are some things within your control. You get to do something about it. There are your circumstances, and then there are the thoughts you choose to think about your circumstances. With awareness of your circumstances and your thoughts, you will be able to see more things you can do with your circumstances. You get to choose.
Does it have to be waiting?
Now, let’s get back to the concept of waiting as a necessity. If I’m enjoying the present, and welcoming current opportunities, am I really waiting? No, not all of me is waiting.
Sure there are parts of me wondering and anticipating. There are moments of human emotions like frustration. Also, there are other parts of me appreciating being in the now.
So yes, in a way, waiting is part of life. However, it’s not all of life, even in the waiting phases. Waiting doesn’t mean that everything else stops. There can be a whole lot of joy while waiting.
What benefits can you find in your waiting?
Are you looking for support when waiting (or during any other phase)?
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This blog post is about waiting (waiting for change). Here is another blog posts related to the word ‘waiting’ (but not about waiting for change as a military spouse) from another site:
Simple Is Better – When the Waiting Is So Hard by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2024/11/01/simple-is-better-when-the-waiting-is-so-hard